Sexual Supplement

Men and a Loss of Sex Drive

Loss of sex drive isn’t exactly a simple problem, especially if it persists over several months. But with right treatment options and knowledge, you can deal with it right in the home. These simple tips might be able to help.

You used to be completely pumped about sex and couldn't wait to get under the sheets with your girlfriend for a quick romp. These days, however, you are more enticed by a good night's sleep than half of a night of under the covers antics. Loss of sex drive is commonly considered a feminine problem but, in fact, it affects men too. There is no shame in feeling a little lacklustre about sex but for you, and your partner's sake, you should try to get to the root of the problem so you can begin tackling it.


Is your job demanding a lot from your right now? Do you wake up tired every morning and find other people really irritable throughout the day? Are you envisaging upping stakes and relocating to a sunny clime where you can live out the rest of your days under the scorching sun with a cool cocktail in your hand? It might be that you are suffering from stress. This can have a debilitating effect on your sex drive and should be addressed straight away. Talking about your problems with someone you trust will help with alleviating stress and hopefully you will get back into the mood for sex sooner rather than later.

Relationship problems

There is nothing as unsexy as constant fighting with your partner. It raises plenty of negative emotions and will often leave you questioning the strength of your relationship. What's really important, however, is that you never go to bed without resolving a fight. Clearing the air quickly and maturely prevents feelings of anger from building up, although you shouldn't say sorry simply for the sake of it. If arguing persists no matter how much talking and resolving you and your partner do then it may be time to take things to the next level. That could involve couples' therapy or a separation, depending on the severity of your problems.

There's no mystery in it anymore

When you were a teenager, nothing held as much mystery and excitement as sex. As an adult, however, you will have discovered there's a lot more to sex than simply living out fantasies. You have to consider your partner's needs, stay aware of STIs and prevent pregnancies unless you want to start a family. All this can turn your fantasies upside down so they no longer seem worth it. This needn't be the case though. Talk to your partner about spicing things up, whether that is through role play, new positions or more 'dirty weekends' away together. Sometimes your sex life just needs a more imaginative approach.

It's not you, it's her

It can sound a little harsh to lay blame with your partner and there are few cases when it will be entirely one person's fault for the magic of sex to die out. However, you cannot blame yourself if you start losing interest in your partner. It may be that she is no longer as attractive as she used to be, or perhaps you have just grown apart. Whatever it is, don't sweep it under the carpet. Talk to her and find out if she's been having similar thoughts. People often get terrified of hurting someone who loves them so much but sometimes this is inevitable. You need to man up and discuss this with your partner if you believe you could be happier with someone else.